Saturday, January 23, 2010

An Update

I realize that I haven't blogged most of the week, but part of the reason for that is that I've been having some technical issues. I've attempted twice now to blog about a book I finished reading last week, but apparently I can no longer copy and paste onto my blog from another site. Considering that I write my book reviews on Goodreads and then normally copy and paste them here, that's annoying.

Anyways...I'll take care of the book review later.

I have to say that this has been a strange week for me. After receiving our news on Monday, I was feeling okay on Tuesday (which I believe I mentioned in my last post). I definitely had a sense of peace about everything. On Wednesday, I found myself feeling pretty emotionally drained. I ended up taking a break from work and walking over to Starbucks in the middle of the afternoon, which was actually pretty nice.

Over this week, I've had a number of opportunities to talk with my family and some friends, some of whom have been in my shoes, and it's been comforting.

Today, I've had a strange set of emotions. If I'm being honest, I'm questioning how I've been handling the entire situation. Maybe I shouldn't have been so open about it all...maybe we should've kept it more to ourselves. It's not that I don't want people to know; I can't help but wonder if I've unintentionally made people feel uncomfortable about it. I also feel like perhaps I've made people feel more sorry for me than they should. Yes, I'm sad. Yes, I'll probably be terrified the next time I get pregnant, always wondering if this will happen again. But in the grand scheme of things, if this had to happen, I think I got the best case scenario. I was never really in any pain, other than some mild cramping and a bit of nausea. We'll confirm on Monday that it all happened naturally, and at this point, I have no reason to believe that I'll need any medical procedures in the near future. I know that many, many woman who suffer a miscarriage experience quite a bit of physical pain. I know that I'm very lucky that I've really only experienced emotional pain.

So...all that being said, I'm hoping to get some questions answered on Monday. I'm looking forward to some time with friends over the weekend...hiking tomorrow with a couple girlfriends (while poor Shawn is stuck at work...he's very jealous), and then a group of us are getting together for a girls' night while the boys have a poker night. We're also taking a drive down to Tacoma on Sunday, which should be interesting! (And yes...I'll blog about that on Sunday night or Monday.)

No comments: